Mid Winter Night's Rose
by Mika Maxwell
Summary: (NON YAOI NOT ANTI YAOI) ^_^;; PLEASE do not kill me for this story! I need REVIEWS however bcuz I spent a lot of mind power on this and I HAVE to get reviews! Additional Info Inside...


Mid Winter Night's Rose  
By: Mika Maxwell  
DISCLAIMERS: I don't own Gundam Wing or else I would be making manga about it now! ^_^ (+ I would be rich...)  
Note: OH GOD! PLEASE don't kill me for this! I know I am only going to get a few reviews if any on this because it is so long for me to write something like this! The thing Is I NEED reviews on this because it took a lot of time and I have never written anything this long for ANYTHING! I swear that if I don't get any reviews I will never post again because it is not worth the effort if no one takes the time to tell you what to fix or tell you your time was not wasted! I obviously don't do this for myself because I can't enjoy my own writing so here it is! (Ends up 2 x R) ^_^ for a all of those fans! REVIEW or EMAIL please!  
  
The smell of cleaners and antiseptics flooded my mind as I walked up the hallways to the room where I was supposed to meet with my doctor. Another cough wracked my body and I had to stop momentarily to recover from the fit. It had been happening a lot over the past year, but had steadily increased to the point where I was required by Milliardo to visit the hospital in private to get some medicine. Even I had to admit it had been wearing me down and making me inattentive in meetings of great importance, but still. Obviously it was just a little cold and I would have to get a small prescription of antibiotics but other than that I had no reason to worry, although Milliardo had shown some concern this current week. My heels clicked in the quiet hallways again as I started towards room 213. Since I had gone alone to this particular meeting, Milliardo saw this as the one time I could have privacy, I had to wear casual clothes so no one would notice me. Right now, I adorned a pair of knee high leather black boots and a short, fitting gray dress with A black lining around the top of the low neckline. Fishnet stockings ran up my legs in the place of socks and a fiery garnet cross-swung from my feminine neck.  
  
"Mrs. Darlian?" A voice from the left of the hallway spoke to me. Instinctively I raised my head, my blond hair flowing around me. "My, you look different today." The woman doctor smiled heartily as she eyed my costume and I couldn't help but giggle as I walked into her office. "Well, it's part of the costume when you go out alone." Her warm eyes nodded as she gestured me to be seated on the examination table. "So what is your ailment ma'am?" She questioned me in a kind voice and I replied with a sigh. "Oh, I have had a slight cough over the past months and Milliardo is freaking out to have it checked out." She breathed on her stethoscope and placed it on my back, listening intently as I breathed in and out. "Cough please, Relena." I waited until a cough came naturally and sat breathing hard after it had consumed me. I felt the table shift as she stood and faced me seriously. "Could we run some tests please?" The slight worry in her voice starting to scare me somewhat, I gave a dumb nod. "I cannot make a conclusion on what it may be but I want you to know that you shouldn't worry, you are in the best hands here." Now I was thoroughly wandering what she was talking about. 'Its only a little cold.' I tried to reassure myself as best I could of that as we went to perform numerous tests. 'Only a cold.'  
  
"Here is my number in my room and here is my home number, if you need me." Doctor Yoshida said with as much affection as she could to hide the wonderment in her voice at my sickness. "I will call you when we have the results back, it should be a couple of days at most." We had spent the whole day and half of the evening taking x-rays and running various courses of activity. "Thank you Yoshida-sama, I will await your confirmation." She waved at me and gave a smile that showed she cared about my health in my direction as I turned to walk back to the mansion. The heels of my boots continued to click on the floor as they had before but now it seemed like a different sound, so far away, as my thoughts occupied me. The only time I really became aware of the world around me was when I pushed the heavy glass front doors of the ominous hospital open and felt the cold late December air on my bare shoulders. I reached to pull my trench coat around my body but noticed there was none. "Damn, I must have left it in her room!" In a flurry of running footsteps I ran back up the stairs and through the hallways, slowing only to a walk when I had almost reached the doctor's office.   
  
"I'm not positive, but I'm almost sure that's what it is." The voices floated out into the dead hall and I stopped to listen. "You think so?" An unfamiliar person said, I guessed it was a colleague of my doctor. "I know it is uncommon in such a young age, and sad all the same that our vice foreign minister has it, but it has to be lung cancer." I think right then my heart stopped and my eyes widened to the size of Quatre's tea saucers. "How sad." My coat long forgotten I stood there, in the hospital hearing someone discuss my lives fate so commonly. "So, how long do you give her?" A small quiet followed this question and I eagerly awaited the answer myself. "Personally, since it is in the last stages, a couple of months at least." I could hear them moving to leave and hurried down the paths and back into the cold night; my thoughts and questions momentarily left behind, perhaps in that hall. I couldn't help but let the tears flow down my face and onto my chest as I watched the people around me. Children smiling happily from the hopes of the approaching Christmas time and adults laughing with each other as they shared loving glances.   
  
My eyes wondered up to the heavens and I walked in awe as the first snow of the holidays fell on my uncovered shoulders, since my coat was still in the office. Christmas usually had me so cheerful and loving, even though I had no lover to share it with at the age of twenty-two. The cold wind pushed snow on me consistently as I neared my mansion but I welcomed the numbing effect of it, it helped me forget my problems. The cross on my neck glittered in the lamp light of the holy decorated candles and streetlights surrounding the grounds of my estate. I wouldn't tell anyone about this diagnosis until a while after it was affirmed; there was no reason to dampen my remaining family's spirits, especially when Lucrezia and Milliardo had a child on the way. A baby due around any time now, and I was going to be happy for them, not cause them the strain of having a sick woman on their hands. They were the only family I had left, them and the gundam pilots, who had long since taken up residence in other parts of the world and colonies.   
  
Of course, Quatre had returned to his home colony L4 and taken over his late father's old business and with his sisters as employees he had a lot on his hands. That isn't including his fiancee Dorothy. His company had grown very large and he was currently ranked one of the richest men in the galaxy, but to those closest to him, we knew he was one of the most down to earth people in the current times. Sometimes I could walk into a store and see Quatre on the cover of a magazine claiming to uncover the man within and I would have to laugh slightly at the thoughts. He never lost contact with us and remembered us all the time.  
  
Trowa had taken up the circus act again with Catherine, his wife, and had traveled all over the galaxy and succeeding in bringing smiles to the faces of many people. Every so often I would receive a postcard from Catherine and Trowa including sweet wishes and hopes from them. One afternoon in particular I was overjoyed to find an announcement in my vidmail box happily voicing the birth of their newborn baby girl. So far as I knew, they were still doing fine at the circus and as a family.   
  
Wufei and Sally had been married right after the war was over and already had two sons. Often times I would talk to Sally and she would tell me about how she was over run with men in the house. Wufei and I talked sometimes too, and he would be a good advice giver when I was in peril. It was amazing how much respect I had earned from Wufei through my years of constant work in the office. As far as I knew, they were on colony L5, the Chinese colony. I longed to see them and their little ones soon too.  
  
Heero, my once love and life, was no exception to the marriage role. He and Hilde had married only a month ago and I guessed that soon Hilde would be an expectant mother, and that would make me happy. She had managed to break the seal on Heero and returned to him his humanity. They were living now on colony L1, Heero's home colony, and I would receive calls from them a lot. Throughout the years Heero and I had, amazingly enough, kept good friends and Hilde and I shared no hard feelings. I just wanted them to be happy together.  
  
The last of the pilots, Duo, was the one I was most in contact with. We talked as much as we could and really were each other's confidants. He was living on L2, the American colony, as he makes me know every time I mention it, and ran a salvage shop. He had so many contacts everywhere that I am sure he has since found a suitable wife or girlfriend. After all, he was so gorgeous that I didn't see how any woman could want to keep her hands off of him.   
  
I sighed and silently thanked God for giving me a momentary release from the problems and worries that now plagued my mind. So many questions loomed in my head as I shrugged through the now foot deep snow and tried to wipe my eyes so no traces of the previous tears could be seen. As I had thought, I didn't want to let them get in a fuss over me, no never over me, I wasn't worth it. I could now clearly see inside the house, Milliardo sat at the shiny black piano with a very large Noin standing beside him singing joyfully. The tree that we had all decorated with bells and holy plants stood tall in the middle of the foyer and many presents littered the ground beneath it. It was truly an extravagant home and very sturdy. I traipsed up the front steps, careful not to slip on the newly forming ice, and heaved the doors open. I didn't want Milliardo or Noin to see me without my coat and shivering so I decided to slip up to my room first and change into something more comfortable.   
  
Once I had reached my second story room I studied myself in the mirror and applied make up where necessary adding a maroon to my lips and black eyeliner to accentuate my blue eyes. My mascara however was cheery leafy green and made me look very into the holiday. Fingering through my closet, I pulled out a fitting silver dress that laced up an open back and only flushed out a little at the hips, not enough to be very noticeable. After finished with that, I pulled the boots back on that I had worn   
To the hospital to my appointment. The thought of the day brought shivers back to my spine as it evoked a coughing fit, leaving my breathless and disheveled. Realizing at last that if I didn't hurry I would worry my family I rushed my hair back into to loose buns and clamped them with two cloth covers that were black and had red and green ribbons hanging on them. With this finished and after I had recovered from my fit, I rushed down the stairs with only the clanking of my shoes to tell I was there.  
  
After I had made it to the living room through the tall and incredibly beautiful house, I managed to sneak in and hug my brother, thoroughly surprising him. At that second, it was like reality hit me and all these thoughts hit me. 'This could be one of your last times hugging him...' a voice in my head whispered. I inhaled the scent of his cologne and memorized the feel of his soft silky hair. 'This could be your last time...' the voice was now on the brink of tears when I realized it was my own. "Are you okay Relena?" Milliardo asked in concern as he pushed me back to view me in a whole picture. I wiped at the tears and smiled through them. "Of course. Just so happy about everything!" I hated lying to him and Lucrezia but in this case, it was for their own good. "How did the appointment go?" Noin asked, her voice sweet and caring. At the mention of the day a coughing fit over took me, heaving my lungs and body. It felt like someone had duct taped my nose and mouth to where I could only get wisps of air before it was pushed out again. Suddenly the voice regained its presence in my head. 'What if you died now? Who would love you and kiss you to take away your pain? Who would say you were his wife?' The tears returned again as I grasped hurriedly at my chest, my body now burned for air.  
  
Somewhere in my mind I heard Noin and Milliardo rush to my side as my knees began to falter but neither of them were the strong arms that wrapped around my thin waist as I fell to the floor in someone's lap, still gasping. The people around me were blurred but I heard Milliardo and Noin yelling for me. "Relena! Can you breathe?" Noin questioned frantically. "Relena! Stay with us!" After what seemed like years of gagging it finally subsided, and I welcomed the air filled with the smells of pies and fine foods into my body. I felt water dripping onto my body as Noin and Milliardo cried over me. 'I didn't stop them from worrying, did I?' The thought was pushed away angrily as I came to a normal state of mind. "It's okay, I'm fine." I weazed out and tried to sit up but two arms wouldn't let me. At the feeling of this I turned around to see none other than Duo Maxwell holding me in his embrace. "Duo?" My mind raced as I detected the fear in his eyes, which he tried to cover with a warm smile. "Ojousan, you should sit for a while." So I didn't move, even though I was seated on his lap.   
  
"Relena," Milliardo's voice wavered back into my thoughts. "What is the diagnosis?" The question I had been trying to create reassuring answers for crept up like a lion on its prey. "Oh...it's nothing to worry about!" I covered, smiling from my position on Duo's lap. "The doctor says I'm fine, but they couldn't say for sure what it was yet." I motioned it off like it was nothing important, where as, it was really my death. A shriek escaped my lips as Milliardo's muscular arms grasped my shoulders roughly. "How the hell can you say you are okay?!" The anger laced in his voice and eyes was scary. "You just collapsed from another fit! The fuck you aren't okay!!" Noin hurriedly shut him up as my eyes watered and my body wracked with deep sobs. 'Now what can you say, tell them the truth?' The thought probed me but I knew that was not a solution to this problem. Before I knew it, I was buried in his arms and listening to his desperate apologies. "I'm sorry Relena, I'm just so scared." I hugged him back and stilled my cries. "Brother, if you knew how much I love you and Noin..." but I was cut off as Noin barreled me over with a hug of her own. "Please Relena, get better." She whispered in my ear for only me to hear but I know Duo heard it to.  
  
Some time after we had all stopped crying and disbanded to go to the dining hall Duo stopped me half way there. 'He is so handsome!' the voice in my head picked, and he was. The light of the tall tree illuminated his figure and made him look like he was an angel. "Relena, tell me, what was that back there all about?" His seriousness was foreign to me but I decided to play dumb. "Oh, well I've had a slight cough for a while and I had a check up for it today." Seeing that I would talk no more he sighed and offered his arm to me like a gentleman, trademark grin back in place. "Well, shall we go dine Lady Relena?" I giggled at his try for stuffy rich diplomats and straightened my back to snuff him. "Oh we shall Sir Duo." And with that, I linked my arm through his and we proceeded to dinner, arm in arm. "By the way," Duo said, as we were about to walk through the doors. "Where did you get that outfit?"  
  
The next day I awoke to the sun shining through my bay window, reflecting like a portrait off of the fresh snow outside on the gardens. It was then I decided that today would be a good day, and got dressed jubilantly. I pulled on a fuzzy black sweater with a pair of worn, tight, blue jeans and slipped into some black combat boots, casual indeed. After that I brushed out my hair, which flowed lovely down to my hips in a brown wave and elongated my face beautifully. Today was Christmas Eve, and I was determined to have fun and enjoy the brilliance of the holiday season with those I cared about. Applying black eyeliner and mascara with sparkling blue lipstick I wandered into the breakfast room...and caught every male eye in it. "Oh my god! Quatre, Trowa, Wufei, Heero, what are you doing here?!" Needless to say I was shocked at whom the eyes belonged to, since I had not seen either of these men in person since the end of the war. Smiles spread around the room and I rushed by everyone giving out hugs kisses and exchanging little details between each family before taking the only seat left, next to Duo.   
  
"I'm so happy to see you all again! It has been to long!" I squealed in delight as I swarmed through my food. Quatre nodded, his emerald eyes sparkling giddily. "Yes it has, way too long." In unison the whole table agreed whole heartily. I felt like my heart would swell from happiness and joy. 'If this is your last time to see them, make it special.' And then it felt like it would break from self-pity as the voice spoke up again. I fumbled with my fork as it continued echoing in my head, giving unbearably reasonable tips, but also hard to let yourself believe. The family I had around the table looked at me in concern. 'It could be your last.' I rubbed my temples then and looked up at everyone's worried gazes. "I'm fine! Now eat!" Unfortunately, Duo didn't eat what I fed, so to speak, so easily and nudged me in the ribs while pointing to the door. I understood and excused myself from the table when I was done and joined Duo on the back porch of the mansion.   
  
"Relena, fess up. You can't foul the master of pranks himself." I looked at Duo's mischievous eyes and was lost all at once. Then his violet orbs turned serious like last night. "Please tell me ojousan, we are friends." By this time, I was looking stoically over the incredible landscape of snow. 'How could so much fall in one night?' I thought but answered it with another obvious question. 'How could so much change in one day?' I felt Duo turn me towards him and his hand lift my chin to look into his face again. "Tell me." And I could barely swallow the lump in my throat; in fact, I couldn't, so the tears came again. "Duo, do you swear I can tell you?" His gaze softened. "Of course you could te-" My attention diverted when the phone rang, and I ran to grasp it but before I could I heard Heero's monotone voice in the hall. "This is the Peacecraft residence." Under the circumstances I was panicking. What if she mistook Heero's voice for Milliardo's? I meant the doctor of course, and that is exactly what she did. "Fine I'd like to know the diagnosis if you don't mind." It all seemed far away as I watched him from the end of the hall, Duo behind me, wondering why I was watching Heero so intently. "Why should I sit down?" 'No..." The voice in my head was screaming. "I'm fine, please just tell me the results." It rang in my ears. 'NO!' but he continued to listen and I watched as the perfect soldier's face paled slightly and his mouth was left agape. "Thank you, good bye." He managed to stutter out.  
  
My world fell around me as he hung up the phone and looked at me, and my world was crushed when he practically ran to my side and hurried me out the door into the cold, not noticing Duo was there. "Relena, do you know what that was about?!" The anger was in his voice, but I think I detected fear too. All I could do was nod dumbly. "Why didn't you tell us?! Why didn't you tell us you had lung cancer?!" I closed my eyes as the tears came and I heard Duo gasp behind me. "Please...Heero stop..." I muffled into my hands, but to no avail. "Why didn't you tell us?! We could have helped you!" He was still forcing me to stare at him but when I moved aside to reveal Duo he backed away. "I'm sorry Relena." He managed after a moment of staring at Duo who was staring at me in shock. "Relena...is this true?" Crystal tears glimmered down my cheeks. "Duo, Heero...I'm dying..." I stifled another sob and walked to the rail of the porch and banged my foot down on the boards. " I didn't want you to know dammit! I wanted to keep the holiday lively!" I looked at the two best friends staring at me incredulously. "I didn't want to make you sad..." I whispered while looking at my shoes. Right then I felt two people hugging me, and rocking me back and forth as the three of us cried into each other's warmth. 'So if you die the day after tomorrow, will you be happy?' I tried to block out the voice but it chimed in the bells of the church. 'Will you be happy?'  
  
"Relena, is there any way we can help you?" Duo asked after we had wiped our eyes and noses clean and were seated in rockers on the porch. "No, it's too late now." I made my eyes meet theirs. "But it isn't over, and I don't want you to breathe a word of this to any one else. No one needs my burdens on Christmas with their own families to deal with." After a moments consideration they agreed and we sat in companionable silence until a cry came from within the house. "Relena, Heero, Duo come quick!" We heard Milliardo scream. "Lucrezia's going into labor!" All problems forgotten we flew into the house to help get the in pain Noin out of the house and into the car while Milliardo ran about panicking. "What do I do? Where are we going?" Sally grabbed his arm and pulled him to the car to sit in the back with Noin while Trowa, the calmest amongst our group, drove the load of us to the same hospital I had visited the day before.  
  
"Push ma'am!" I heard the doctor say as Milliardo and I stood on each side of Lucrezia as she moaned and cried in pain. "Noin," I bent over to comfort her, it was something I was good at. "You're having a beautiful child! Yours and Milliardo's, the creation of your love. Push now so you can see your new baby." I watched as she huffed and tried to give me a wavering smile, and right then it made me think about what I would never have. I wouldn't feel the touch of a lover's caress against my bare skin, or their lips tracing my body in tender touches, no, I would be dead, a memory and six feet under. I shook my head and scolded myself as a baby's cry pierced the air. 'You are greedy to think that at such a joyous time.' I felt a hand fall upon mine and looked down to see a watery-eyed Noin looking up at me gratefully. She only mouthed the words, but they still had high effect on me. "Thank you." My vision clouded and I couldn't help but feel incredibly high as I felt a weight in my arms and looked down to have my eyes meet those of an intense aqua. 'When you were born, people cried for you this way, and when you die, people cry all the same.' I shuddered at the voice and pushed the bundle back into its mother's arms, leaving the happy couple alone for a while. "Your welcome."  
  
"Relena!" I turned from walking to the exit doors to join the others to come face to face with Dr. Yoshida. Hoping I wouldn't seem too rude and grim at her presence I grinned. "I suppose you heard the diagnosis?" I was running on automatic now, just watching her talk and preparing to process the words later. "Well, please, do this for me. Live you're last days to the fullest." With this she returned to her daily rounds without so much as a wave but I didn't mind. My previously happy mood had been shattered but returned when I felt a hand on my shoulder, rubbing it in a massage. "Relena, it's okay. Let's just go." It was Duo comforting me; he saw what I was feeling through my eyes. "Yes, but can you do me a favor? Since tomorrow is Christmas day, will you help me cook some tonight?" HE seemed incredulous and I wondered why. "Aren't the chefs on duty?" His eyes wandered me over and lapped over my body. "No, I let everyone off on Christmas. No reason to keep them under my thumb on this day!" Slowly our bodies got closer until we were chests to chest. "Hey you guys! You coming!" The startling yell emitted from Catherine, already perched in the car with the rest of the people. I laughed at Duo's slight blush. "Yeah! We will be right there!" Every time I would feel an emotional high the voice would pipe in. 'So he is the one you want before you die?'   
  
Come to find out that evening, Duo had problems with cooking, and that was putting it lightly. The oven warmed the large kitchen and made the atmosphere cozy enough to cook in a short sleeved shirt. "Duo pass me that book over there." I pointed to a recipe book lying open to show a luscious turkey. I could practically see Duo salivate upon seeing it himself. "This book?" I affirmed his suspicions and he jumped in glee. "We are cooking this?!" Once again I told him yes and proceeded to gather necessary ingredients to make the turkey in the picture for tomorrow's dinner ceremony. Every one of the pilot's and their families would be in attendance after exchanging and opening gifts. I startled myself when another coughing fit bubbled up in my throat. I covered it as best I could and blamed it on the flour in the air around me until I felt like I could breath again, but I knew Duo understood and he supported me while I tried to regain composure.   
  
Three hours later at 11 o' clock in the evening on December 24 smoke filled the once spotless kitchen along with many other things. We waved madly at the air to free our noses of the stench of burnt food and to get a clear view at anything within two inches of our faces. "Duo," I hacked to him between laughter. "I think we messed something up." I heard his soothing chuckle as his hand grabbed mine and we sprayed down the burning oven of turkey. "Not quite like the picture is it?" He studied the two sides by side and placed it down in mock disgust before scratching at his hair and smiling exasperatedly. "You must be tired, let's get out of here and talk a small walk in the garden before bed." That was the best suggestion I had heard all day so I joined him eagerly in the crunching snow, and stopped under a blooming red rose bush.   
  
"You know," He took on rose gently in the palm of his hand. "This rose reminds me of the light of hope in all horrible circumstances, like you." His knowing glance showed me clearly what he was thinking. "Sometimes hope seems so far away though. I always wanted what all of the others has. You know, lovers and children to share their happiness with." My breath mingled with his in the cool air as we stood with our noses touching lightly. "Me too, and it is never too late." Connection sparked fireworks around my head as our lips danced with each other, and soon our tongues joined the waltz as well. Before I knew it, my hands were entangled in his chestnut hair and his own were roaming my back vigorously. I thought the snow would melt beneath us at the way things were steaming up. My eyes happened to wander listlessly to the sky as he held me in his arms tight. 'Every snow fall is different.' I buried my head into his chest. Yes, every snowfall was different indeed.  
The shrill cry of a baby poked into my abyss of sleep and I grumbled when it was followed by the sounds of movement in the next room over, my brother's and his wife's. Deep in my heart I wanted to experience the annoyance of waking at all hours for your child, just so you could nurture something made of you and your lover. Knowing I wouldn't fall asleep any time soon, I stood and wrapped myself into my clothes I had worn to the hospital, I had strewn them over the chair upon returning, and crept out into the hallway and down the grand staircase. Although, with all the noise that Milliardo and Noin's child was making, I didn't have to really creep at all.   
  
I opened one of the back doors of the mansion with a creak and stepped out into a winter wonderland. Bright snow flitted all over the rose gardens made it seem like heaven on earth and it soothed my mind. Suddenly a ghostly apparition of Duo and I standing beneath the looming rose bush, kissing heatedly, filled my mind. The snow fell gently upon the two engaged lovers and cast a glow around them as they swayed together; it was like my fairy tail come true. I hugged my arms around my body and sun like an angel dancing ballet in the light of the waking sun and stopped only to glance adoringly as my brother and sister in law joined me on the porch with their newborn blessing. "Merry Christmas!" They chorused all together at me, even the baby seemed to gurgle a little at me, reaching a little hand up to my face in a gesture. I reached my own petite well-manicured hand down to envelop it and was flashed by images. A girl with long platinum hair with blue shades swerved to catch my hand in her own. 'Children born of love can carry on the life you were forbidden to live.' I rushed back to reality to discover I had suffered another attack. I still held the baby's own hand in mine and when I opened my eyes to stare at her I saw the girl in the flash. "What a pretty girl you will be." I believe the smile on the face of the child grew larger as if she knew what I was talking about.   
  
"Merry Christmas everyone!" The immense blow of voiced ecstasy behind brought me to my right mind and with the help of Duo, who had helped me stand upon entering, I made my own greeting. "Relena, are you sure you shouldn't go back to the doctor?" Hilde and Sally looked at me inquisitively. I cast their sad eyes away from my memory and brushed past them into the house, ushering the family I loved in behind me to the tree. "It's time to enjoy the meaning of this holiday! Let's share our love for each other through these gifts now!" The faces lit up on the children as they rampaged the unsuspecting tree and their parents sighed happily as they retrieved them and seated themselves. I found a nice spot on the floor by the tree so I could pass out gifts to my large family, as I considered them, and Duo found himself by my side. At that though, I think he was more concerned with the delicately wrapped presents then passing them along to his friend's hands. With a swift punch to his ribs, courtesy of me, he kicked into gear rather enthusiastically and I had to force myself not to collapse from laughs at the gleam in his eyes that reminded me of a child. 'One never grows old when young at heart and soul.' The familiar echo cried to me, and I heartily agreed, no had to grow old when they could retain the memories of times when they themselves were children being retained by strained, yet happy, parents.   
  
That evening I found myself full and enlightened by the laughter and howls coming from my life time friends. The children had long since been put up to bed in the nursery being tuckered out from the day's events. Now we older adults, how fast we had become such, sat around a glowing fire sipping on fine wines from France. "You know, I never would have thought," Wufei spoke to the group. "That we would be sitting here, alive, after the eve wars." Mumbles of agreements were heard as Quatre took this chance to add his own accounts. "I am so glad that I have this large family to love and spend my life with. Even if we all go our separate ways and have children and grandchildren, I want to always have this bond between our families." There was a moment of silence as we sat pondering this profound statement. "I feel privileged to grow old with all of you." Trowa said and all at once to stares were sent my way, wondering if I would break down then, but I refused to show such arrogance. "I do too, Trowa," I passed my eyes around the room, memorizing every detail of the room and people. "I do too."  
  
While brushing my teeth after the exhausting day a knock sounded on my door. Swinging it open I wiped the paste from my mouth to find Duo standing there, grin in place. "Are you tired yet Relena?" Caught off guard by his question I raised an eyebrow at him questioningly. "Well...no...Why do you ask?" He produced a deck of cards from behind his back and jumped into my room, closing the door with a resounding click behind him. "Know how to play poker?" He plopped onto my satin-sheeted bed and I followed beside him. I saw the mischief lurking in his violet eyes and knew he had some other intentions. "Duo, what's the catch?" He did his best impression of a cigar smoking Vegas guy and dealt the card in a flurry. "We play strip poker." My surprise caught in my throat but I managed to bring it out in laughs. He softened his eyes and gave me an innocent look. "Come on ojousan!" Something propelled me to say yes. "Fine! Fine! Just teach me how okay?" His grin turned devious. "Prepare to be beaten by the Shinigami!"  
  
One hour later, Duo was sitting in only a pair of red silk boxers and I was reduced to my bra and panties. "Duo I refuse to take off more than this! I have dignity you know!" He looked up from playing his cards and blew a sigh. "I guess so, I mean, I would hate to be standing in your room naked too! I also have a shred of dignity to uphold!" I swiped away the cards with one leg as I started to laugh profusely. Something about him made me crack up at the smallest words, I personally think it was the hidden humor behind them. All at once Duo tried to stand from the bed to avoid my kicking legs and the shifting mattress gave way to fate. I blinked as I looked down at Duo, whose head was placed between my breasts, and noticed my legs and his were straddling each other. We stayed that way for a minute or two, both of us too stunned to move, until he finally heaved a breath and looked up at me. "Oh what the hell!" Instantaneously we moved into each other's grasp and built up the heat in the room. His lips traced my neck line in the way I dreamed of, but had never felt, and his hand roamed to uncover feeling I never knew I harbored. That night we unleashed each anther's souls upon each other and when I lay up late that Christmas Night at approximately 11:45 wrapped in his arms I could never have felt any more happy. I watched out the window at the waning moon until a white flake wafted down, and many others followed. 'No snowfall is the same.' It rang in my head. Duo slipped a kiss on my cheek and I felt his breath in my ear as he whispered to me a lover's promise. "I love you," He glanced playfully at the clock. "And Merry Christmas." I repeated the same to him and grabbed his hand close to me body, needing the warmth of his own, and I watched the snow listlessly sail in the cold winter's wind outside.  
  
December 25, AC 203  
  
I had watched in wonder how my family had torn at their gifts, eased into light conversation and slipped into my room as the evening wore on. Lying coughing in my bed I looked older than my years, the tender look of twenty-three had long since been wiped from my features. The tender words they spoke while around my almost lifeless body were carefully chosen so as not to frighten the younger ones. Grazielle's birthday had been the day before, the day that only one year ago marked so much change in my young body, and the other children stay hovered in their parents warm arms as they sat around me. All I could do was lie in my bed and converse occasionally with them. My brother, Noin, and Grazielle sat by the headboard of my bed and I could tell it hurt them to look at my thinning body. Heero, Hilde, their kids, Catherine, Trowa, and theirs sat next to Milliardo and his family. Heero tried to keep my head straight when I was feverish and in pain most of the time while the other three would figure the painkillers amounts I could take in one dosage. Sally, Wufei, and Quatre had been constants in keeping me in good spirits throughout the whole ordeal of the past year.  
  
Next to my right side, however, was my husband and newborn baby, Trio. Duo had stayed by my side throughout the pregnancy of Trio and when my health had declined after her birth, he had made sure he had given me all of the love he could. I gazed lovingly at Trio and she reached out a small hand to me, much like Grazielle had done the day on the porch. I reached unsteadily for it and upon grasping it saw a woman with violet blue eyes and brown hair holding my hand. 'It's okay now momma. I understand, and thank you for giving me this gift for Christmas.' Tears sprouted in my eyes and upon seeing them Duo swept them away and embraced me in a comforting hug. "Shh...baby its okay.." He pumped his hand on my back in circular movements, and I felt his wedding band against my skin when he pressed his hand to me. When we moved apart I looked around the bed with a sudden clarity at my family. "I'm so glad," I beamed, repeating Trowa's speech from last Christmas. "That I can grow old with all of you." The women around the bed choked on sobs and started all out on my bed while the men looked at me admirably. I blew a kiss to everyone and glanced warily at the luminescent tree in the corner of my room before wrapping my hand around Duo's. I slid down into my silky covers of the bed where Duo and I had made love, created our child, and cried in each other's arms.   
  
With the cries emanating around me I stared out the window and watched as snow began to fall. 'Every snowfall is different. During one you will be young and alive while during the next you will be haggard and dead, but at least you will be surrounded by love.' The lights began to dim and I heard the cries of those I held dear. 'Trio makes us forever tied together, she excepted my plea to live on in my place.' I sighed and my eyes wandered to the clock before closing in a final declaration. It was 11:45 on December 25, 203, one year after I discovered that life is lived by your own standards and you should never lie down when people limit you. Days would go by and I would be remembered, years and decades as well, because I had made my mark on the world outside of politics and ignorance. I felt Duo's hand tighten around mine and felt the weight of my family leaning near me as I began to leave my body behind to forever watch them from afar and keep their families together. Before I was too unattached I heard Duo whisper huskily in my ear, obviously trying not to cry horribly, the promise of the snow that we had made the year before at 11:45. "I love you," he paused and kissed my head as I took in my last breath. "Merry Christmas." That last breath of earth air released me from my body that had been plagued by sickness, freeing me into the heavens.   
  
While outside the snow fell to the ground in silence and splashed a lone rose bush with silver. Echo's of a woman walking in desperation in the snow all alone rang before changing to the same woman embraced in a man's arms beneath the rose bush appeared. For all eternity one phrase would fall with the fresh snow on the grounds around and on the bush, where a vibrant red rose sat in full bloom. "This rose reminds me of the light of hope in all horrible circumstances, like you." And the snow continued to billow in the frigid air, as secretive as ever.   
  
  
::runs and hides:: REVIEW or EMAIL please! I need feedback on this number...so what did you all think? ^_^;; This comes up as over 7,000 words! ::yeah I beat my record:: (I doubt I will beat this one again but...:: anyway REVIEW or EMAIL please!!! (Shinigami02Duo@aol.com)  



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